Rubber Side Down

My brother coined this phrase a couple of years ago, he said this in front of one of my friends a couple of days ago and it sparked the following conversation:

Friend: What does he mean rubber side down.

Me: It’s a joke, I’ve had a couple of accidents, but I’m a great driver… really, trust me.

Brother : A couple? You’ve wrecked more cars than Evel Knievel.

Me: So, I’ve had a couple of accidents, that doesn’t make me a bad driver.

Friend: A couple? How many accidents have you had?

Me: What? Lately??

Brother: If you have to qualify it like that….

Friend: How many accidents have you had?

Me: I don’t know… exactly.

Friend: You don’t know??

Me: No, I’m sure lots of people don’t know.

Brother: No, I think pretty much everybody knows, I’ve had 2.

Me: Well, if I had to put a number on it… about 10.

Friend: 10??

Me: Just the ones I’ve caused right??

Friend: No, not just the ones… you know what yes, just the ones you’ve caused, what were they?

Me: Well, I rear totaled my brother’s van rear-ending someone. I totaled a truck rear ending someone on an on-ramp….

Brother: Was that the lady you hit so hard you knocked her off the interstate?

Me: Yes, but in my defense it was dark… besides she was okay.

Friend: Wow… this doesn’t sound good, there’s more?

Me: Just a couple… I rear-ended a friend of mine once, backed into one of my class mates one time, rear ended another person, ran into a poll… twice, ran into a wall, backed into one of my own cars once-- not, sure if that counts as one or two, and I ran into my own garage backing out once. Oh, and I uh, totaled a friend’s car by flipping it end-over-end nearly landing on top of a highly explosive gas line with complete strangers in the back.

Brother: That’s why I try and remind him that the rubber side goes down, it’s a public service announcement really.

Friend: Here’s a public service announcement, friends don’t let friends drive with this guy….